An Open Letter to My Abusers!

To My Abusers, 

I don’t know why you did what you did to me, today I wear the scars with as much pride as I can. Today I am walking a path that I might not have walked, today I am smiling at the pain that I only know too well. Today I have good and bad days. You would think I should thank you, but I will thank you for the pain inflicted on me, the scars that you gave, the memories that I live with and the battle that I fight each day.

I don’t know what joy you got out of it, I don’t know how many more you inflicted your pain on. But I do know that this will stop, I know that this will not carry for long, I know that places to run and hide will cease to exist, I speak from faith that there is still good in people. 

To those who think bullying is fun and a part of growing up, you don’t know the pain you inflict on someone the trauma that someone goes through in a world where we are taught to hide our insecurities to conform and contort to what is expected and midst of this you come across someone who is different, ever wonder that this might happen to someone you know. 

To those who are sexual abusers who inflict pain on others, I know that you only care about what you receive and that what you want, I know you come in every age and gender and age and gender may not matter to you, but to those are your victims, we won’t be victims for long, we become survivors and we will become thrivers. 

Yes, I still wake up screaming and sweating reliving those memories that you gifted me, a gift that I never wanted, sure you can say that you were a kid yourself, but which part of the tears and “No” you do not understand. How can you think it’s okay to do this? How can you think that this is okay, cause a sometimes out of fear a person cannot say “No”. 

I write a letter to you, to let you know that we are no longer going to be silenced and we are no longer going to let this happen. We are preparing for a revolution and one that will bring about change. 

We are accepting that what had happened to us and how it impacts everything that we do, how it screws us and our mind. How it destroys the very reality of everything. Yes, I and others have gone through this and yes we are no longer to be silent. 

Yours truly, 

A Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse